Rotten Universe....

Dear Universe

Why do you keep punishing our family? why do our hearts hurt and this can not be mended with that so called TIME HEALs..and LOVE WILL CONQUEUR ALL - who LIED about this stuff its just not true, my heart hurts more and more everday because Hannah will not become a school girl, not be an aunty, not a god mother, not a Dux of her school, she wont attend her Formal nor graduate from uni, she wont get married or have her daddy cry as he walks down the aisle, she wont get to be bridesmaid for her sisters or brothers or cry at the birth of her own children not will they have children and nor will her nieces and nephews be able to have fun days and sleep overs with Aunty Hannah.

The world is a horrible place and I dont know why, us as good loving people cant have what we want or aim to strive for to try and heal that little bit. I hate it when my family hurts, I cant fix it and I hate when i see others treat their kids in horrible ways thats not even fit for a dog or they just dont care out right, it aches me to read of kids being hurt by their parents or their parents kicking them out of home. We never turned our back on our kids not once we have always been there for everyone of them and for that fateful three mins when I was changing nappy and looking after my sick baby boy that day the universe still keeps torturing our family.

We all cant stop crying, we want the pains to stop, its not fair all I ask for is a little tiny piece of laughter in my house and our hearts to smile. im the mum and i cant fix it because Im a broken, shattered, torn apart, dissolved mother who cant fix herself let alone her family. I cant do this alone so please universe give me a sign of something if you wont give me what i desire at least let my kids smile and put me out of misery and pain.

All we wanted this week was alittle piece of news that would have slighty patched the holes we feel, but no dear universe you had to *^%$ that up too!!

angry mum at the universe who just cant take anymore of this horrible horrible shitty life!!

(if someone tells me one freaking more time that this ws meant to be i will Slap them freakin stupid, some people have no idea what they have and what they do have they treat with contempt..)

I miss my baby, I cant have her back but I just want my heart to stop aching so much, this just hurts too much and I cant bare to take this anymore.

Mummy is weak right now my Purple Princess Hannah and I need some strength to get me through this life until i meet you.

Mummy
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